Writing my first blog isnt going to be as easy as expected. My life has been all I would love for it to be. Growing up I thought I had the life and my future was set. It seem since the passing of my mother 13 years ago I havent been able to discuss how I really feel. When I was 13 I didnt understand until I became a freshman in high school in 1998 where I would hear my friends say, "I hate my mother". I remember breaking down that evening to my father.

        In my opinion back then I felt he didnt understand what I was going through. Sure he lost his wife but @ that moment I lost my mother. Now I begin to discover a crazy world. Small rebel @ times but I never disrespected to the point of I needed a butt whooping. Every teen goes through some phase where they think they know everything. I can say that even doing that time my dad never gave up

.        I graduated high school and then came decision making. College or beauty school? My choice was beauty school. A success & a fail only because I no longer do hair. So now I fight with myself on going back to school. Ive had my share of boys & man. On that notion Im not proud of. Alot of relationship fails including me looking for attention in all the wrong places. However I still had to move on.

           Even when I was being loved by family & friends it never seem to be enough. I became depress. When I needed to vent no one would just listen. Now I keep to myself. I have no friends just associates.When I need someone to talk to I feel they wont understand. So writing is my lease on understanding me and my needs.

Today begins with step 1...........